Tuesday, 19 May 2009

• Premarital Sex(uality)

  I wanted to discuss my views on sex. Sex is not something I normally talk about, as I feel it's private matter. But don't worry, I won't be going into my personal details too much. These are my views, and are of course going to be disagreed with by most likely a majority.
  
  1st, sex should be saved for marriage. Now, obviously, there is a certain aspect of sex that involves creating children. I know this from personal experience, as I in fact have 3 of my own. Now, it would perhaps be a wonderful world if it were impossible to conceive unless you wanted to, but often sex can lead to unplanned babies. I know this from personal experience as well. I believe that a good marriage is the optimal environment for a child to be raised in (however, I of course realize that there are many great parents who do not fall into that category). But since it can be quite easy to avoid this wonderful consequence of sex through various birth control methods, you may say to yourself that sex before marriage isn't that big of a deal. However, keep in mind that sex is one of the most intimate moments that can exist between two people. And also keep in mind that no matter how committed you feel your relationship is, marriage is the highest level of commitment there is. Such an intimate thing should be saved for that commitment. You may be fine with having those intimate memories with you even if you do not end up staying with that partner, but your future partner may not feel the same way about those memories. Please save that intimacy for the person you will be the most committed to, and save it until you actually are that committed.
  
  So, based on reproduction and intimacy, I feel that sex should be saved for marriage. All sex that falls outside of marriage, is poor judgment.
  
  2nd, sexual non-sex should also be avoided. What I'm talking about is any touching or other stimulation of intimate body parts between yourself and your partner. Granted, this will not normally cause pregnancy, and may not be as intimate of an experience as intercourse. However, once you start down that course, the whole point is to go farther and farther. It will almost assuredly go all the way eventually. It may not happen the first time, or even after a hundred. But when you're dealing with such a sexually charged atmosphere with someone you may or may not love, you will want to keep that up. The things I'm (trying to avoid) describing are called foreplay. They're called that because they come right beFORE sex. The whole purpose of these things is to make you want sex more. If you are willing to do that, it will be only a matter of time before you are having sex. So, if you wish to avoid premarital sex, you should also avoid premarital foreplay.
  
  3rd, masturbation. You will often hear masturbation justified by people who say that it controls their libido. I however disagree. Masturbation can often become habitual. You hear of people who cannot keep from masturbating multiple times per day, despite how much they want to stop. Your libido is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. But also, the whole point of masturbation is a sort of last resort when you can't get the real thing. You are wishing you could have sex, and imagining what it would be like, and how good it would feel. You are practicing giving in to your libido. Then, in the event that the real thing is presented to you, you want that thing you have been fantasizing about for so long. Your will power will be diminished, as your wish is now within reach.
  
  4th, thinking about sex. Similar to my points on masturbation, the more you think about it, the more you want it. It is an addiction. But, if you practice avoiding those thoughts when they inevitably come into your mind, you will be able to enhance your will power. That way, when presented with a situation where premarital sex is an option, you will be able to avoid it.
  
  5th, sexually charged images, including pornography (even in marriage). If you're watching movies that are sexually charged, or viewing scantily clothed images of the opposite sex, those thoughts will be forced into your mind whether you want them there or not. They will present an image of sex and of the opposite sex that is not true. They will make you resent your spouse or future spouse as not good enough. Not hot enough. Not adventurous enough. You will expect them to fulfill every little desire you have. Watching someone have sex is watching them in that most intimate of moments, and will be a kind of intimate experience in and of itself. That is also a disservice to your spouse or future spouse, or relationship.
  
  
  
  
  

  • 7:45 PM
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