I'm sure we're all familiar with the term 'reverse psychology', which deals with telling someone to do something you don't want them to, so that they'll rebel against it, and do what you do want them to.
Well, what I'm about to propose is kinda like that, except not at all.
The problem with modern psychiatry is that people go in there and just start talking about their problems. The psychiatrist just sits there and listens for an hour, blames everything on their mother, prescribes some medication, and charges them $700. That doesn't help anyone. Well, it helps the psychiatrist.
So what I'm proposing is we change all of that. You've got issues? Basically the last thing you want to do is go bring all of them back up, and start delving into all the worst parts of your childhood. So instead, I'm gonna open up a psychiatry practice where people come to me, and I talk to THEM for an hour about all MY problems. This will get the focus off of themselves, and start to empathize with others, and realize that their own problems aren't really that important. Once they start figuring out ways to help me with my problems, they'll feel like they're in control of something, and they'll be able to start taking control of their own life.
And since my program will actually work, I'll probably charge more like $900 an hour.
Now, I know that you're thinking to yourselves "But Scott, you don't have any problems! You live a carefree life of happiness and joy! How are you gonna talk about problems to them when your life has largely consisted of normalcy verging on boredom?"
Well, you see, that's not true. You only think that because I already subscribe to my own medicine. I don't talk about my own problems, I only listen to others'. But I have plenty I could talk about.
For example, my brother is getting out of rehab this coming month. He's not sure if his family is going to want to take him back, and he fears his wife has poisoned their children against him. He has nowhere to live, and unless I can convince his wife to take him back, he'll be crashing on my couch. However, this is complicated by a couple things. For one, his wife probably doesn't want to share a bed with him, since he shared needles with a few other junkies, and hasn't gotten tested for HIV yet. But also, his wife has been physically abusive towards him for the last few years, but no police will ever believe him now that he's been in rehab. They still love each other immensely, but my brother's a bit scared to go back, even though he really wants to. Also, he's afraid that his wife may now be taking it out on the children now that he's not around. So it's like, if he leaves there will be trouble, but if he stays it will be double. What do you think I should do?
See, then the person has to think really hard about what the best thing to do is, and they have forgotten all about their own problems. Just like all of you have.
And most likely, their life is so screwed up that they won't realize that I made the whole thing up (yeah, you were right the first time. My life really is quite boring). Those problems probably seem fairly normal or something.
So they give me some answer, it doesn't matter what, and they leave feeling in control. Important. Like they can tackle any problem. Even, their own.
Comments (11)
You're a genius. The logic behind it actually might work and help people get out of their own selves and think of others. I think that's highly important for people to do... care for others.
@SilentSeekr - yeah, pretty much. They pay me to talk about problems that they don't realize I'm making up on the spot.
Interesting concept. :P Reversed, reverse psychology?
I like it... Let me know how it works out.
Great idea. I think I may join your practice.
And what would to do for the idiots who just don't get it not matter what you say? haha:)
a friend of mine has been doing something like this for a while- purporting to give "advice" while he actually uses you as a sounding board for his own troubles. It annoys some people, but I like listening to him, so it always works for me. :)
haha. it sounds like the genius behind FML. when i feel bad about anything, i read that site, and my life looks like rainbows and skittles, after that. weirdos.
Oh, I like this idea.
Great idea!